Awaken The Giant Within
To change your life, focus on making and committing to the right decisions:
- It’s how you change your desire for change: i.e. I’d like to stop eating junk food, instead of “I will start eating more healthy”
- Make a clear decision and stick with it no matter the challenges you face
- You will definitely face obstacles, learn to overcome them
- Think about what you can learn from failure, every time you fail
- Example: You didn’t finish a project because you were Lazy, think what caused that laziness (distracted by YouTube), thank fix those issues
Make New Habits by associating unwanted ones with pain and desired ones with pleasure:
- If you want to break a particular habit, an effective method for doing so is to associate that behavior with pain. i.e. want to stop smoking, connect that smoking to mental anguish.
- or decide a rule, everytime you want to smoke, you have to sing a really annoying song you hate. You have to commit, so even at a dinner party you have to sing this song.
- You also have to create an alternative habit that you enjoy just as much. i.e. instead eating your favorite fruit, or pick up a new sport.
- Also think of the positives and imagine them. Once you quit smoking you’ll be able to run much further, or have sex longer.
- Those who found these new habits, i.e. like starting a new hobby or entering a new relationship were less likely to revert
To Change Who You Are, Change Your Beliefs
Example: Two people turn 60, one sees it as life coming to an end, another sees a whole future ahead.
- What is a belief? A belief is an idea that’s supported by evidence. i.e. you think you’re a good chess player, but evidence will show if you win majority of the time, means you’re good
- Unfortunately, this goes bad too. When something bad happens like losing a loved one, you think life is terrible.
- But instead you can interpret the reference more positively and direct your life more positive. i..e death of a person makes you a stronger person and use this as a desire to help others who are mourning.
- Thus to bring change in your life, you have to change your beliefs
- However we have so many strong beliefs embedded into us, habitual beliefs. These can be broken.
- You have to associate pain with the old one and pleasure with the new one. i.e. being lazy makes you poor, working hard will get you money.
- Find a role model who is successful in change their beliefs. and adapt to their way of doing it to your own purposes
Changing your Vocabulary can transform your attitude and emotions
- There are 3000 words that describe emotions , twice as many negative as positive. why maybe people experience more negative
- Pay attention to the words you use in daily life as they will shape your thinking and perception
- To think differently about a situation, you need to describe it differently
- For example you car breaks down and you start saying how angry you are and how annoying it is. Instead say its inconvenient, a more neutral stance. Thus stopping you from entering a more negative emotional state
- Secret is to use STRONG words for positive emotions and less intense words for negative ones. i.e instead of happy use TOTAL BLISS, negative “i’m a little concerned” instead of “im extremely anxious”
- Also can try using unusual words when describing negative that amuse you. I.e I am quite peeved (instead of extremely annoyed) and this can improve your mood
To Find the Best Solution to Any Problem, ask the right questions.
- Quality of questions have a massive impact on the quality of our life
- Ask negative question you will get negative answer
- Example asking yourself “why does this always happen to me” focuses on your life failures. resulting in bad mood and life experience is framed by this.
- Come up with questions beforehand. i.e. Whats good about this situation? what can i do to enjoy the process of solving this problem?
- Step further ask yourself every morning “What’s great about my life?” “what accomplishment am i Proud of?”
- Starting yourself in a great mood at the start of each day will find it easier to access positive state during the day as well.
Discover Your Own Life Values to Find out if you’re living up to your full potential:
- Can you say for certain what your believe is most important to you? Love? Health?
- Happiest people are those who understand their own values and live their lives accordingly.
- If you don’t feel fulfilled it could be because you’er not living accordance to your beliefs
- Make life decisions on what truly will make you happy (your beliefs) it’ll make it easier
- Make a list of your most important values in order of priority, and elaborate on your reasons for including those values. In making your list you may notice that some of the value your currently hold are not well-suited to accomplishing your goals.
- If you value is passion, but it comes at a cost of your health. Its unsuitable value, because if you’re unwell you cant do anything with your passion. Solution is change your values. you could decided to prioritize health over your passion. By putting health first you will be able to be passionate without the drawbacks.
Come Up With Life Rules That Make You Happy, and tell Others About Them.
- All of us have rules we follow in our lives
- However such rules can limit our experience, and thus the odds of us achieving true happiness
- What do you need to happen for you to be happy? many things are beyond your control, i.e. friends appreciating you more.
- Establish life rules that you can control. Like try employing a rule that makes your happiness dependent on accomplishing personal goals.
- When you make rules dependent on others it will cause frustration.
- Lets say your closest friend never calls you. because your belief friends should talk often she is no longer your friend. however they might think differently. to them its more about time being their for other person in moments of crisis and not talking all the time. so by communicating your rules about friendship your friend will understand why you were upset with her. and on that basis your two can establish a more solid foundation for your relationship
- “Never assume when it comes to rules” Communicate
By Understanding what’s behind your emotions, you can gain control over them.
- To gain control of yourself/mastery. You have to identify your TRUE emotion
- Example: When you’re angry, you reflect deeper and there might be something that is the true cause of the emotional pain like exhaustion.
- Once identified use Transformation Vocabulary: I.e explain exhaustion you’re feeling droopy. this helps diminish the negativity you feel and make it easier to overcome
- Important to not view difficult emotions in a negative way: All emotions can help you to enact positive change in your life, as they indicate something is not quite right. prompting you to identify and thus begin to change
- Understating emotion is 1st step. 2nd step: you have to take action to deal with the emotion and change whatever it is that is causing it
- Say you identify loneliness: you can search for reason why you are lonely. could be you haven’t seen friends lately. therefore take action to call them
- Sometimes doesn’t work, instead recall a time you were able to be successful dealing with emotion. Doing this will give you confidence in you ability to handle it because you handled it before.
Contribute to Society to discover what you can accomplish as an individual
- Once you start learning and reflecting on your emotions. You can help others
- Make the world a better place by doing so
- Understand your actions you can do can impact society. don’t think it can not. i.e. making someones day better by giving them a compliment
Final Point: Even small decisions and changes in your behavior can have a huge influence on how you live your own life and on society in general.